While the divorce is going through the court system, months—sometimes years!—can pass by while the specifics are being straightened out with the judge. Between the division of property, debts, finances, children, and parenting plans, the judge has a lot to sort through during a divorce. Of course, the more cooperative both parties are, the easier the divorce case can be, but spite, anger, and resentment often rule the courtroom in a divorce case and can drag the courtroom drama on for months on end.
So while the divorce is going through the courts, it’s an excellent idea to sit down with your soon-to-be ex-wife and decide upon a parenting plan that works for both of you as a means of temporarily setting up how things will run during the course of the divorce proceedings. This is a temporary agreement that you both decide upon in order to make rules and regulations in regards to the caring of the children, the payment of debts and credit cards, and how each other will help support the other during this time of financial stress.
It is important to make this plan as detailed as possible—list times, dates, holiday specifics, and visitation specifically, and do not be vague—this can work against you in the long run. Keep the phrases “upon agreement of the parties” and “reasonable visitation” out of your parenting plan—this is setting you up for disaster as a father in a brutal divorce case.
Make sure that the parenting plan you work with your wife on is a parenting plan that you would be satisfied with after the divorce is finalized as well. Most courts will look at the temporary parenting plan as a resource as to how both parents feel about the division of their property, debts and children, so make sure you include as much father/child time as you can to avoid setting yourself up for failure in the courtroom when you go in for your custody hearings.
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1 of the baby development issues that the majority of parents have difficulty with is to correctly decide their child’s real progress. Most likely the most often asked question in this regard is to confirm whether or not their baby’s progress is on track or is falling behind.
And since parents don’t have a yardstick for neutrally measuring their child’s true progress, they usually rely on the remarks and comments from ignorant pals and family. In most instances well-meaning folks attempt to put our parents’ minds at ease…somehow convincing them that nothing is wrong. And that there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Oftentimes parents are the quite last to see or admit that there might be a problem with their child’s development. Somehow they just never take the time to notice or measure progress.
So, is there not a greater method to get an accurate measure of real baby development progress?
Yes, there is.
Maybe one of the most effective baby progress “measuring tools” is really a baby development chart. So, let’s take a look at the fundamental foundation of any development chart.
Most baby development charts focus on measuring physical developments, also referred to as baby milestones. And in most everyday situations parents are primarily concerned about their baby’s physical progress… probably since these milestones are so effortless to notice and track.
You see, tracking your baby’s progress against the physical milestones is one of the essential ways to measure regardless of whether your baby is developing normally or falling behind. As well as the great thing about making use of the milestones as yardstick is that all babies go through the same milestones in exactly the exact same sequence.
This basically means that we can use the exact same yardstick for all babies.
Over a lot of years researchers have collected data from tens of thousands of babies concerning their physical development for all of the major milestones. And through statistical analysis they’ve established what a “typical” or “normal” baby ought to be mastering at any specific age.
Now, maintain in mind that a “typical” or “normal” baby is truly a statistical concept. In reality your typical child may be falling slightly behind in one baby development area (compared to the statistical standards of the development chart), but s/he will in all probability catch up later. That’s typical.
But it is critical to know when your baby’s development becomes a lot slower than ‘reasonably acceptable’ standards. Once more maintain in mind that the ‘acceptable standards’ are statistically determined values. But experience shows that this is really a quite great guideline to follow.
So what’s the best strategy if you are concerned about baby development progress? Here is a 4-Step Rule of Thumb I suggest:
1. Impartially measure your child’s progress against that of a “normal” child utilizing a baby development chart.
2. If your baby masters any specific milestone sooner than what 75% of all babies do, there’s obviously nothing to worry about.
three. However, in the event you baby is slower than 75% of all infants to master a specific milestone, start taking specific stimulation activities to encourage and stimulate development of the required skills.
4. If your baby takes longer to master a milestone than 90% of all babies, then I suggest you not just continue with the specific stimulation activities, but also think about getting the assistance of a professional. Acquiring the input from a professional gives an objective, neutral opinion as well as advice on the best way to proceed.
Always ask yourself, and attempt to answer objectively, how your child is doing compared to other youngsters of the exact same age to get a very first indication of progress. Now, if you have established or only suspect that your baby might be developing too slowly, I suggest you start stimulation activities and seek professional support as soon as possible.
Obtaining an objective opinion is the fundamental principle of knowing regardless of whether baby development is on track or not. The do-it-yourself way would be to unemotionally and neutrally measure your child’s progress against a standard baby development chart. Oftentimes a much better way is also to seek the opinion of a professional.
But even if appropriate now you are not concerned about your child’s progress, it may possibly still be best to regularly get a professional opinion to objectively assess your baby’s actual progress.
If you are tired of paying the high cost of car insurance, then you need to know that it is possible to look for and find cheap car insurance. In fact, many people could save hundreds of dollars off their current yearly insurance premiums if they simply take the time to shop around and do the research necessary.
In times past, you would go down to the only insurance agent in town and sit down with him and arrange for all your insurance needs. Your parents did this and you may have done this too. Your agent handled everything for you, and you simply wrote out the check. However, the world of insurance companies has drastically changed from what it used to be. Instead of only three or four companies that handled the insurance needs of 90 percent of the country, there are literally hundreds of insurance companies that are taking care of people throughout the United States.
The internet has actually greatly increased the availability of cheap car insurance because it has allowed for increased competition between the different insurance companies. Older, more established companies are being forced to keep their premium rates in line with the newer companies that have very little overhead and that have found more ways to keep costs low. In fact, studies show that insurance rates for new customers have gone down repeatedly over the past few years.
Because of the move away from a local office or branch, many insurance companies have a lower overhead cost. They are not paying a lease for a building or paying salaries to employees. Their office is essentially the computer, so they pass those savings on to the customer in the form of the different packages that are available. Some of these agents work for the older, more established companies, but in the newer, internet world.
Using the internet to search for cheap car insurance quotes is quite easy, but it is important to spend enough time at it to really be sure that you are getting the best deal. If you only spend fifteen minutes, you might be able to find some great quotes, but it is important that you understand what you are getting. You must provide certain information, such as your age, state of residence, make, model, and year of car you want to insure, and so forth. Many companies are moving away from requiring any sensitive personal information until you are ready to purchase the policy from them.
However, the more detailed you get on the information you provide, the more accurate the quote will be. You may want to use the coverage numbers from your current policy as a basis and then you can compare everyone equally. You will also find that there are some websites that allow you to input your information one time and they send out and do a search for your, coming back with multiple quotes from different companies. You can then make comparisons and find the cheap car insurance quotes that you were looking for. experts say that if people would examine their insurance premiums every three to five years as a minimum, they could literally save hundreds of dollars.
A child’s wishes and preferences are one of many relevant factors that a court will take into account when determining a child’s best interests. However, their wishes aren’t the only consideration or necessarily determinative of custody and access.
In determining the weight to be given to a child’s wishes and preferences, a judge will consider the age and maturity of the child and whether the child has been improperly influenced in reaching his or her conclusion. A judge will give more weight to the expressed wishes of a child who is 16 years old than a 10 year old, for example.
Parental Alienation – Courts are becoming more aware of the occurrence of parental alienation after parents have separated. There are many ways in which one parent could be actively alienating the children from the other parent. They could be telling the children that the other parent is to blame for the relationship breakdown and expressing their anger and negative feelings towards the other parent to the children, resulting in the children also blaming the other parent for the marriage breakdown. Other examples include purposely cancelling the other parent’s time with the children and restricting the amount of contact between the children and the other parent.
The effects of parental alienation are serious and not in the children’s best interests. In some cases, when the judge determined there had clearly been parental alienation, the judge actually took custody away from the alienating parent and instead ordered that the alienating parent have restricted and supervised access to the children.
In cases involving parental alienation you should be aware of the possibility that the child’s stated wishes may have been unduly influenced by one of the parents and therefore may not have been arrived at independently.
Bottom line, don’t engage in this parental alienation. It kills your kids. It kills the alienated parent. And, I have it on good authority that alienators don’t go to heaven. This is an area for law reform and judicial pro-action. Alienators need to know that there will be consequences. But don’t hold your breath for either. There’s nothing slower than law reform and nothing less likely than judicial pro-action.
Parents Working Together – For your kids’ sake, where they’re concerned, work together as a team even if you can’t stand each other. Research studies show that the children of separated or divorced parents fare best when both of their parents work together to promote and maximize the involvement of each other in all aspects of the children’s lives.
The focus isn’t on how much time each parent shares with the children but on how the parents share the functions of childcare and upbringing and the quality of the time spent between the children and each parent.
Parenting Plans – Courts and lawyers are promoting the use of comprehensive parenting plans which set out arrangements for the parenting of children. For those amongst our esteemed student body that can’t even work together to parent their children, a parenting plan is an excellent last resort short of putting your children up for adoption (which may ultimately serve their best interests better than a parenting plan for warring parents). Frequently, social workers as “parenting plan coordinators” are retained to help parents prepare and implement these plans.
There are certain key elements that should be contained in a parenting plan.
These include:
- Where the child will be living and when;
- Who’ll be responsible for the day-to-day decisions involving the children; and
- Who’ll be responsible for major decisions concerning the children’s welfare, including their education, health, and extracurricular activities.
If you and your spouse aren’t able to prepare a parenting plan together, you should prepare one yourself to clarify your position on the issue of custody and access.
Best Interests of the Child - Whether you and your spouse are able to agree on the custody and access arrangements for your children or whether you have to commence a court application, the underlying principle that should be guiding you is the “best interests” of your children. Keep in mind that what you believe is in the best interests of your children will not always be what a judge believes is in their best interests. So, before you delegate the decision to decide what’s best for your children to a total stranger (the judge), think carefully about working things out with your ex, at least where custody and access are concerned.
For more information visit www.bermanbarristers.com or www.myontariodivorce.com.
Teen chat rooms are a common form of computer addiction amongst our teenagers. There are many reasons why youngsters turn to this form of socialising, which can also be, potentially, very dangerous. Thankfully, with the massive media coverage outlining the dangers of chat rooms and meeting with strangers, many of our teenagers are now aware of the dangers involved. It is with these dangers in mind, that we as parents, must stress to our children and ensure they are aware of the possible dangers involved in meeting up with strangers.
As with other forms of computer addiction, teen chat rooms offer a degree of anonymity and the chat room addict can be who he or she wants to be. More often than not, chat room addicts start off with just a break from the routine of daily life. Studying, research, projects, assignments, etc. As time progresses and more chat room friends are added to the list, it becomes very hard to stay away from the computer. Different time zones mean staying up late or getting up early to meet with chat friends from other parts of the world.
Just one or two hours a day in the teen chat rooms is fine by any normal standards, but when the addict is spending the best part of the whole day in the chat rooms, that’s when it is time to start taking action and limiting the time spent at the computer. We, as parents, owe it to our children to take the necessary steps to reducing their time spent at the computer. From personal experience, it is not always possible to make your child understand that it is in his or her own best interest that you are doing what you are doing.
There must also be a hard and non-bending rule that personal information is not given out in teen chat rooms. It will be extremely difficult for the chat room addict, who is totally engrossed in the conversation, not to respond to an innocuous question such as “what is your last name?”, or “can I call you on the phone? What is your number?”. It is best to stick to your chat room name. Anything personal which is given away, innocently, in a chat room could result in them being identified. Again, this is knowledge gained from a personal experience. My teenager was once asked the name of his pet, he told them. It was the answer to his secret question. The account was stolen, the password changed, the address was found and his friends were sent abusive messages. Thankfully, nothing happened with the address. With regards to giving out a telephone number, you only have to go to Google, type in a telephone number and a name and address will be given, unless it is unlisted, of course.
Stay away from putting your photo as your avatar in teen chat rooms, it is best to put a photo of your pet, or better still, a picture of your favorite film star. Also, it is best not to give your exact location. For instance, the town you live in. It is much better to put the nearest large city as your location.
This article is not meant to alarm you. It is only intended to warn of the potential dangers that a chat room addict can face in teen chat rooms.
Remember, not everyone in teen chat rooms are teenagers!